At first I have to say the thought of Layla spending more time at playschool scared me. I've always had another child /baby at home with me which has always kept me busy but Layla being my youngest (darn hubby having the snip) means no more babies which in turn leads to me having not a lot to do.
If I had it my way I'd keep Layla at home with me for longer, I want to enjoy her company whilst she's still young but I know the interaction with other kids will help her development and I don't want to hinder her learning because of my fear of being alone, left behind.
My initial thought was that I'm going to be found at home twiddling my thumbs, not quite knowing what to do with myself. I have been a stay at home mum for almost ten years now. Lets be honest, I've not had a lot of adult interaction over the past few years that doesn't include my mum taking me food shopping and I'm definitely used to being able to do things without atleast one child in toe.
The thought of going back to work terrifies me, not that I'm not willing to go out and work, the trouble is combined with my fear of actually trying to hold a full blown conversation, the 15 hours which Layla is provided with, spread over 4 days does not leave me enough time to actually look at getting a viable job just yet because I have noone else to look after the kids and we can't afford any childcare costs right now. I'm not just trying to come up with excuses, honest!
But on the flip side I don't like the thought that my husband goes out to work to provide for our family whilst I get to sit at home. Ok yes I do everything at home ie cook, clean, look after the kids when home but as many will say, that isn't a job, well not one I'm paid for anyway.
So I've been thinking hard about what I can do.
The results of my brain ticking over, I have decided to volunteer at the primary school that my children attend. I always had two things I wanted to do when I was younger, one was to be a hairdresser, something I achieved but no longer enjoy doing. The second was that as I'd really like to work with children in some capacitiy so going back to college to obtain qualifications to be a teaching assistant would be wonderful.
This would give me the chance to hopefully do a job that I will love, do something that I have always wanted to do but it would also mean that I'd be off whenever the kids are off school, taking away the worry of finding and affording childcare.
People always tell you to go after your dreams and this is one of mine, one that I hope I can make a reality one day.
How did you find going back to work after having kids? Did you go back to the same job or did you end up changing your career?
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