Friday, 1 July 2016

When Parenting Becomes Overwhelming


Being a parent can be the most rewarding thing in the world but that's not to say that it comes without hardships. Not everything can be simple, where's the fun in that?

I'm sure I won't be the first to put my hands up and admit this but sometimes this parenting malarky can be more than a little overwhelming. 

Learning how to to be a mum or a dad doesn't happen overnight, we learn new things daily and of course we also make mistakes along the way too.

There are days when I'd really like to hide myself away, my emotions seem to end up all over the place and I feel like I'm not getting things quite right. I mean it doesn't matter how many parenting books you read, telling you to do things a certain way, each child is different and if we're honest, there is no-one who can really know how to handle your child, even if they are a mother or a father themselves, it's a matter of taking each day as it comes.

I would never not want to be a mum but I won't lie there are moments when I wish I could just take a break. Recent months have seen my husband working away a week at a time and this hasn't been the easiest of transitions. The kids miss their dad, I miss my husband and it shows in our daily lives. Single parents get a huge amount of admiration from me!

I'm a person who doesn't sleep well anyway but when the hubby is away I sleep even less, I think in the back of my mind I'm worrying more about the kids and the house because I'm in charge of it all. Then there's my lovely girls who I'm told by others are always polite and helpful seem to pick these weeks to misbehave, argue with each other and me and somedays I feel like all I do is shout just to be heard. 

Now I hate that, I don't want to shout but they don't seem to want to listen when I ask nicely, please tell me I'm not alone there?! And of course because I'm tired I know I snap quicker than I normally would and it is in those moments that the mum guilt seeps in and I start getting this fear that I'm doing things wrong somehow.

Realistically I know I'm being irrational in my thoughts but it doesn't stop me from having them, I think worrying becomes part and parcel of becoming a mum or dad.

Being a parent whether singularly or as a couple can be rather lonely at times but when we don't share our worries, instead letting them build up they can end up getting the best of us.


And that's the real reason for the post I guess, I'm sharing my own anxieties with you all, to let it be known that you're not alone in your fears and expectations of parenting. As overwhelming as it can be, there are always better times to look forward to, those harder moments are what help shape us as people but they do not define us. 

So as I sit typing this with a gin and tonic in hand I'd like to say cheers to all parents, lets be overwhelmed together.

24 comments:

  1. I sleep really badly when the husband isn't here as well.. what is that about? lol - Shouting isn't great, but its a massive part of my parenting life I can tell ya... The kids will only listen when they want too, and asking nicely 3 times with no effect makes my blood boil! The best bit is when the teen says "alright! you don't need to shout!" Im like "erm.. yea obviously I do!?" ;) it's all fun and games! I'll cheers you too that! #effitfriday

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  2. I'm the same, which I don't understand as my husband snores so badly and is just a generally really annoying person to share a bed with but then if he isn't there I can't sleep! B**tard! #effitfriday

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  3. I know how you feel, not with the not sleeping as it's just me at home so I don't have that problem. But about being overwhelmed yes, I get that too. Sometimes shouting is the only way the will listen though isn't it! #PoCoLo

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  4. Parenting can be very overwhelming at times! My little ones dad stays with his parents and I stay with my gran so it's very back and fourth for us until we have our money saved for a house which hopefully won't be too much longer. But sometimes I feel like I'm doing it all on my own and it's exhausting. My little one doesn't listen at all, not even when I shout which I hate. He states blankly and continues doing what he's doing. I could tear my hair out!

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

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  5. I think that we all have the same issues with shouting and then feeling guilty about it. But that's how it works. We love and we fight, we kiss and we shout just as much. But at times, when it really get's too loud, I stop myself consciously, calm everybody down and we make a pact not to shout for the next week. And it works (at least for us). Also as the kids get older, it is easier to talk it out with them, The only thing that you really must teach them is that they respect you as you have to respect them as an individual human beings with their own will. But yes, parenting is a day to day learning experience.

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  6. I definitely find parenting overwhelming somedays. (Pssst... most days, if I'm really honest.) I'm currently pregnant with baby number two and sometimes I ask myself what the heck I was thinking adding another child into the mix. I do wonder how I will cope with two but I'm sure I'll find a way... just as I did with one.

    #effitfriday

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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  7. I find parenting overwhelming for sure! Like RIGHT NOW!! It is something we need to talk about more!

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  8. I hear you and like you, have admire single parents who do it on their own. I only have once child, and yes, it can be so over-whelming sometimes, especially during the times you doubt the decisions you make for your child. Yep, we're all in this thing called "parenthood" together ;)

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  9. I hate my husband going away too, I literally don't sleep! Today I was thinking when did I become this totally nutty, shouty mum. Then my four year old told me she loved me and I made the best pancakes so all was right with the world again :) this parenting malarkey is certainly tough xx

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  10. Parentling is definitely overwhelming most of the time! I think we all just muddle through thinking other people are coping better but it reality we're all the same - so you're definitely right that it is important to talk about it!

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  11. Yes, parenting is so overwhelming. And I know what you mean - I sleep badly anyway but so much worse on those rare occasions when my husband is away. It's nice to have a break, and her grandma loves looking after my daughter but then I miss my daughter like crazy!

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  12. Single parents have my respect too. Kids are hard work.

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  13. My marriage situation is changing and my son is in the middle of all the changes. Sometimes I am thinking I need to stay in it for him but I wont be a nice mother. Parenting is hard and some days its harder. Lets be overwhelmed together is such agreat idea. #pocolo

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  14. It's so nice to hear that other people feel the same way. Parenting is so overwhelming and some days I feel exactly how you typed. It's not easy and it is all a huge learning curve. Some weeks are harder than others, but it's nice to know that we are all overwhelmed together. xx

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  15. I totally agree with you lovely. Parenting is the one job in the world that is 24/7 and all encompassing. It is no wonder we all feel like this now and again x #PoCoLo x

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  16. It definitely can be SO overwhelming and a regular break just to get some quality me time would be so perfect. My OH has started doing night shifts again every so often and it throws everything. I definitely admire single parents!

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  17. Gin and tonics are compulsory when the overwhelming-ness takes hold. I sometimes think, when NG is having a squeaky moment and NC does an enormous sh** that I can't do it any more but that is usually when NW is away(!) Single parents have my absolute respect! #pocolo

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  18. I'm just in the process of writing a post and is pretty much exactly this! Might not do so now as don't want it to seen like I'm ripping off your idea. But you've hit the nail on the head with every part of this post. I think it's so important to let new parents know that it's not all easy, and every parent struggles sometimes.

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  19. I am not a parent but I have looked after kids but even that does not even add up to how much parents do. Being a parent is so difficult and far more challenging than work but I know you would not have it any other way x

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  20. Hi Chantelle, the times a questioned why children don't actually come with a mental health warning attached or at the very least with an instruction leaflet. Parenting is so hard, because no parent/child relationship is the same, even within a family. I know what works for my daughter may not necessarily work for my son and visa versa.

    My two are older now, but the amount of light bulb moments I've had over the years, when I suddenly realise why somethings not 'working', is nobodies business.

    Parents need to know that it is okay not to be 'perfect' and to feel overwhelmed at times. And it's okay not to take well meaning advice, if it'd not for you.

    Know you're doing a good job.

    xx

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  21. Thank you for being so honest. I shared something similar recently called Mummy-On-Demand so believe me when I say you are definitely not alone! Parenting can be so overwhelming and relentless and being united is our best method of dealing with it, totally agree. Thanks for sharing X #pocolo

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  22. I find being a mum overwhelming, and like you we are going through a spate of the husband being away and only accessible on Skype. Coupled with being at my mums and not in our own house (as we don't have one argh) in a transition stage the boys are unsettled and its landing on me. And its tough. Its tough to cope with when my husband is here let alone with us all missing him. You're not alone my lovely xx

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  23. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must be, but I'm also pretty sure that almost every parent tries their best. I can relate to the not sleeping though, MOH doesn't go away much but at first I'm "yes! the bed to myself" and then it kinda feels lonely. Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo and sorry it's taken me a while to get here x

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  24. Oh I hear you honey! It can be so hard sometimes, and on the days the kids decide to misbehave and you're worn out it can all be a bit too much. Cheers! Enjoy that G&T xx
    Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo xx

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