Todays, the day, the final frontier, the last ever time I will be applying for primary school for any of my children. Ultimately it feels like the end of an era. No more babies although I suppose I will always see them as my babies.
I remember quite clearly when I applied for my eldest to start at primary school. It was such a nerve racking time. It was a big decision to make because ultimately my choices would decide a part of her future. It would be an influence on how her learning journey would begin.
If I'm honest I was shocked that she got into our first choice primary school as there were so many people applying for the same place. I was over the moon and then of course all the excitement of buying uniform, meeting teachers etc began.
Each time that I've applied the process has felt a little easier. I guess having further siblings there lessened my nerves at the thought of them not getting in and I knew what was to come. The meetings, what they would be learning.
However today I am feeling different. A little sad maybe. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching my girls getting older and I'm excited to see them learning and growing but I suppose the best way I can describe it is that I'm beginning to feel a little lonely.
Another feeling is one of being left behind and not as included. Up until the girls started school I was their primary source of information, the one they would go to when wanting questions answered but that all changes slightly when they begin school.
They gain a wealth of knowledge from their teachers and I know in the past my seven year old has slipped up and called her teacher mum, not because that is how she necessarily sees her but because ultimately she can be a comfort to her and she sees her as someone to look up to and unknowingly I've managed to become a little jealous of this (silly I know).
I talked previously about maybe trying to get a job volunteering at their school but certain circumstances haven't allowed for this to happen and now I'm starting to panic about what I am going to do when Layla finally starts school. I mean applying is really the easy part, it is what's to follow that will come hard.
I've never cried leaving my girls on their first days before, I've been happy for them as they've skipped off to form friendships and start new adventures but I am almost certain I will be crying buckets when September 2016 rolls around. People won't know what to do with me.
Please tell me I'm not alone in my feelings, my fears? Who else is applying for primary school places right now? How are you feeling?