Friday, 4 January 2019

The Year for Me?

Hello 2019. You sure came round fast.

Growing up new year never meant an awful lot to me. And recently all it signalled was the end of Christmas festivities and time for the kids to go back to school again.

As an adult I'll admit to setting silly resolutions: lose weight, save money. All of the usual things that people tend to say but I've got wise to it all.

Last year was the first time I didn't set myself any really goals and it felt good.

No expectations, no disappoint if I didn't manage to achieve certain things, it was a freeing feeling.

And in some ways this year is more of the same, I've not bothered with targets but in another way everything is totally different.

I'm thinking this could be the year for me.

Firstly because this week I started a new job.

Now putting that into context, I haven't worked a full time job since before I had my eldest daughter over thirteen years ago. My focus was always on my children, of course they are still my main focus but things have shifted somewhat.

For the first time ever I will no longer be able to take my children to school and pick them up and there are mixed emotions over this because I feel ever so guilty that I'm no longer able to do everything for them but also guilty because there's a slight feeling of relief that I have a sort of freedom from those responsibilities.

It's like I'm gaining a certain amount of independence back.

I won't just be a mum anymore, I'll be getting an identity of my own!

However there is a negative to having a job because what it also means is that my time to do things during the week is limited. 

Errands will have to be run at the weekend and everyone will have to do their bit at home to help, whether that's contributing to cleaning the house, having a helping hand with cooking dinners.

This is something I am determined that will happen because otherwise I can see myself being run into the ground with no 'me time' and as is the trend of self care, I do believe there needs to be some focus on ourselves in order to stay healthy and happy.

A word that I'll be focusing on this year is balance.

And I'm sure it will come with time but right now I feel a bit like a duck out of water.

Overwhelmed.

But strangely enough mixed in with those nerves is also a lot of excitement. I'm truly looking forward to what 2019 has in store for me and my family.

With a second full time wage I think we could be in for some fun times ahead as we won't be so limited as to what we can do with our time off, I've already started thinking about holidays and short breaks.

I hear Disney Land calling!

There's a fear of the unknown isn't there, I've certainly felt it but you don't live without a little fear do you.

New year, new adventure, the year for me? 

Possibly but I can tell you something, I sure can't wait to find out.

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