Friday 4 April 2014

Do We Baby The Baby?

I have four daughters and I thought that I had always brought up all my children in the same way, I liked to think that I treat them all equally and fairly. My now 20 month old daughter was our last baby, much to my disappointment and thinking of recent events have actually shown me just how differently not only myself, but others have treated my youngest daughter on occasions, compared to my other children. And my question is do we baby the baby?

I know all babies are different and we shouldn't compare but as a mum, I just can't help it. I have always brought my daughter's up to be indpendent. My kids have always done things at roughly the same times in their lives, crawling at 7 months, walking at 10 months, drinking out of a proper cup at 15 months, sleeping in a "big" bed by 18 months and all potty trained by 2 and a half. Don't get me wrong they weren't made to do any of these things but I wasn't shy about encouraging them either.

I think I always subconsciously knew that I would be having another child so I made sure the older sibling was well prepared in a sense, like they would know that they wouldn't be the baby anymore.

However this time round there doesn't seem to be that need to get the baby to do things. It isn't that I want to keep her young forever, I have always loved my children growing up, achieving each little milestone, I'm just not in as much of a hurry about it all.

Even my older daughter's treat their younger sister differently. When she is naughty they say, "it isn't her fault because she's the baby".

I remember doing the same with my little brother. My older brother and I would let him get away with a lot and even take the blame for things he had done.

I admit to letting her get away with things at times, it just makes for an easier life sometimes, I feel guilty even writing that down!!

Trouble is now I'm wondering if I have gone about things all wrong. Should I have been more strict?

I've recently tried to introduce a normal cup instead of a sippy cup, that idea didn't go down well. Then I swapped the cot for a big girl bed because she seemed to be upset at being "trapped", again not as smooth sailing as I hoped it would be.

With the others I can honestly say I had no trouble with these moments, they switched with ease, no questions asked.

This time everything seems like a battle. Is that because I did it earlier? Is it the way I've treated my youngest? Or is it simply just the way it was always going to be?

Has it been a case of babying the baby?



  1. I'm guilt of this too. I know Harry has grown up, at almost 18 months he really isn't a baby any more but I'll still let him fall asleep on me.
    It's a natural parenting process I think..

  2. I think it's just different with every child. We respond and act differently each time. I might be to blame for this too with my baby. She is a bit more diva ish then her older brother but is it a boy girl thing either I am not sure. Maybe try a cup with a straw it's not a sippy cup and not a normal cup safes on the fights and the spills without holding them back. I did this with my first. They grow up so fast don't they? Thank you for linking in Share With Me really love reading your posts. you have such a great blog here!!! :) #sharewithme

  3. I was only saying the other day that I baby my son! He's younger than Boo and my last, so I do think I baby him. I'm also not checking milestones and development markers with him, whereas I did with Boo and moved her on. I think he's at a similar stage to Boo at 19 months, but I want him to stay little, which doesn't help him at all. Having said all of that, because of having an older sister, I think he does more things earlier than she did - such as painting, arts and crafts, feeding himself well - all because Boo's doing it so he does, too. I'm sure he's fine and gross motor skills are stronger than hers were at this stage. I think it's natural, and at the end of the day, every child is different - maybe your youngest is just more stubborn or has a dislike of change more so than your others? Don't worry, they'll all get there! x

    1. I do think she has her mummy's stubborn streak ;) I know what you are saying about the siblings, mine do encourage each other to do certain things, my eldest two are always in competition with each other when it comes to who can do what at school x

  4. I am very guilty of this with Millie and I hate myself for it. I was the eldest (only of 2) and I remember the different ways my Sister and I were treated. I always said that would never happen with my own Children, but Sadly, sometimes it can't be helped.

    I think you may be over thinking it a bit though those little milestones your other daughters reached were fine for them, but every child is different she just might not be ready yet, try not to worry too much ( I know that is easier said than done) xx

    1. I think that's it, it's trying to remember that they will all do it in their own time x

  5. We're guilty of many of the things you talk about too. Our youngest two have each been desperate to emulate their oldest sibling as soon as possible, so in many respects they're being allowed to do a lot of things earlier than we ever did with Isaac. But at the same time they don't get as much attention as when we only had one. Swings and roundabouts. Toby is ever so good about everything, peaceful and self-sufficient. Kara, on the other hand, is demanding and stroppy and as stubborn as the proverbial mule. Is it a boy/girl thing? Is it us? Or just that they have their own characteristics? Probably a little of all three.


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