Friday 5 June 2015

Too Many Kids Not Enough Time

I chose to have four children and if I am honest, if the husband hadn't gone and had the snip I would have liked to have had two more. What can I say, I love babies and kids, I've mentioned in previous posts how I feel like I was born to be a mum.

However there are days where I feel like there isn't enough time in the day, as though I don't have the chance to spend quality time with each of my kids and I think they feel the same if their attitudes are anything to go by.

Don't get me wrong, some of my best memories are of times spent with us all together but I'd like the opportunity to have a little one on one time with each my girls, a chance to catch up properly, to talk without another little voice interrupting.

This can be hard some days as I don't want to appear like I am favouring any one child over the other, but there are times when one of them requires my full attention, for example when there is homework that needs to be done or books that have to be read. This is hard to explain to the others just why these things need to happen.

And then there are the weeks where I feel guilty that my youngest gets plenty of alone time with me when her sisters are at school and when they come home I'm so busy with cooking dinners etc that the hours just seem to disappear.

Realistically I shouldn't be so hard on myself as in my mind I know they had these wonderful moments with me when they were younger but I want to have more of these moments as they continue to grow up too.

And the silly thing is I know time is precious, I want to make the most of my children, especially while they are young and can still stand to hang around with their dear old mum but aside from splitting myself in four, what's a mum to do??

Well I think I found a reasonable solution.

In recent weeks I've been helping out a lot in my 5 year olds class which means she gets mummy to herself for a while, even if she does have to share me with some of her friends. I think she gets excited to show me off .

My eldest two have been slightly harder to please, I have started to take them out separately, they alternate who comes out with me on a Wednesday afternoon (when my mum can look after the others).

Now we aren't doing anytthing overly exciting, a simple trip to Costa for coffee/hot chocolate, cake and a chat but I feel like it's made a huge difference to all of us. I've found it's given them the chance to tell me things they wouldn't necessarily say infront of their sisters and really who doesn't love an excuse to eat cake!!

I'd still like more time and I would still love to give more time to my children because really time makes a perfect gift sometimes but I guess there's always a comprimise and at the minute I'm doing what works for us but if anyone finds a few more hours lying around can you pass them my way please?



  1. It is so hard isn't it. I would love to give mine one on one time, but my OH is hardly around and parents nowhere near. I do the class thing to I think it helps x

  2. fab idea to take them out on their own. do you have separate bed times for them?

    1. I do but that time seems to be taken up with reading for school so doesn't feel like proper "us" time iygwim. x

  3. it is hard but I think your time at costa and in the class room are great ideas and by there smiles they think so too. I have 4 kids too but all at different stages my eldest is 14 and autistic my other 2 boys are 12 and 10 and my daughter is 4 they all have different hobbies I don't have any one other than there dad so a couple of times a week my 12 year old comes dog walking and also jogging . my 10 year old comes dog walking on another two nights. my 4 year old gets time every afternoon after nursery which leaves my eldest who sits playing lego with either his dad or me at least for an hour moat nights it seems to be working for now .

  4. It is a nice idea to have some time with each of them! Just so they can have you and you can listen to them without any other voices. I am so sure they love this moments too! #pocolo

  5. It is so hard to make sure you spend quality time with each of your kids. My Mum finds it harder now that 5 out of her 7 have kids too! The babysitting certainly keeps her going! You are doing a fabulous job. Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo x

  6. It is so hard to find individual time with multiple children, I feel the same with 3. Recently I have started cooking with one child at a time and it has worked brilliantly, they love it. Costa sounds good though ;)

  7. I have three children and i can total relate to this my little two are only 14 months apart and are still at home with me so they get loads of attention. But my oldest is at school and i feel i never get time with her as i am always busy with the little two we always have a special day out in the school holidays though just me and her xx


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