Changing the Face of Confidence

Over the years I've come to realise that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. As a teenager I began to wear make up, not because I felt I needed it but because it was all my friends were doing but by the time I reached my twenties I became reliant on it, hiding behind it. I lost confidence in my own face. 

Now that I've reached my thirties I've done a u-turn and have begun to gain a bit of my confidence back. Most mornings I don't have time to brush my hair let alone put on a full face of make up, the most you will see me wearing is a bit of mascara and eye liner. 

The bags under my eyes are on full show, showing the tiredness that parenting brings. Persistent spots are there for everyone to see, I'm no longer embarrassed by them because lets be honest they are out of my control and I'm not the only one to have them either. These marks and colours on my face don't define who I am do they?

Having four daughters I want to be able to show them that make up isn't a necessary part of life. By all means wear it but don't hide behind it. There will always be people out there who will want to criticise you but that's normally because they are reflecting their own securities on to you. 

We shouldn't be afraid to be our natural selves and lets be honest, how much time will you be saving if you don't have to put all that 'face paint' on every morning, I know I'd prefer a few extra minutes in bed these days.

My Daily Skincare Routine

My daily skincare routine is one that has been found after a lot of trial and error. I'm a person with very sensitive skin. I'm allergic to quite a few products and from a young age I suffered from outbreaks of eczema and psoriasis. Even when I began to grow out of the eczema, I was left with patches around my nose, this always led to people asking if I had a cold. I seemed to get away with not having spots (a saving grace in my teenage years), but that wasn't to last as when I came off the pill after the husband had a vasectomy, I was left prone to horrible outbreaks on my chin. 

I said at the beginning that my skin is very sensitive and it has left me with a lot of confidence issues, especially when my lovely children point out just how many spots I have on my face on any given day. The problem is is that being sensitive makes it quite difficult to find products that won't lead to adverse reactions like dry or itchy skin and although I don't have the clearest of skin I thought sharing what I use/what I do might help others who have similar issues.

Should I Really Be Thinking Slim?

You maybe remember about 3 months back I wrote a post about losing the baby weight. Well since then I have carried on trying to lose the weight and tone up. I think I am doing well at earning all these celebrities money with the amount of exercise dvds that I've been buying.

I can understand how people give up and lose hope. I have been trying to take a picture every 4 weeks just to give myself a bit of motivation to carry on, most times I look and come away feeling disheartened because I honestly can't see a difference.

Then I stumbled across a picture that had been taken in January, I didn't even realise that I started taking them that far back. So I decided to compare it with one taken last week and for once I wasn't left disappointed.

Feel free to hit me with the truth, maybe I'm being dellusional but I can really see a difference. 

Ok so the "bum tum" is still present (although smaller), realistically I don't think I am ever going to be rid of the dreaded thing, unless I happen to win the lottery and can afford a tummy tuck!! 

I am taking positives from this picture though. My waist is and hips are smaller, I know this for definite because I have been measuring and I am now a size 10 rather than a size 12. The one thing I wish hadn't got smaller is my poor breasts, why is it fat disappears from the places you don't want it to??

I'm not writing this post to brag or to get praise, Daddy Hazelden will tell you, I don't take a compliment well. I suppose I started writing it so it is there was permanent reminder for me, maybe I will believe in myself a bit more. I am never going to have the "perfect" body but I am hoping that eventually I will be comfortable and confident in my own skin. 

I've been thinking how to word this post for a few days now and the more I write, the more it has got me thinking about my daughter's and how I want them to see me and how I want them to feel about themselves. I don't want to be stick thin, really if I didn't have the saggy tummy I would probably be content to stop losing weight now and I don't want to ever start making my daughter's think that they have to lose weight. The scary thing is my 7 year old has already started telling me she doesn't feel pretty, I didn't expect things like this for a good few years!!!

I actually saw an article the other day that interested me. It showed a Barbie doll made to look like an actual woman, "normal" was how they described it. I wouldn't use the word normal because really what is normal, but wouldn't it be nice if they had a range of dolls of all different shapes and sizes rather than just the skinny image that is portrayed now? Much better to look at in my opinion, not sure if having dolls like this when I was younger would have affected my way of thinking about my body now but I would like to think that I wouldn't be so body conscious. 

So I guess this post has done a 180 degree turn. In the end I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to lose a bit of weight and wanting to feel good about yourself but there has to be a limit as to how far we will go. I hope my girls don't see me exercising and think they must do it too, I want them to keep active but at their young age it should all be fun, not a way to lose weight shouldn't it? I think having kids changes the way you try to think about things because I know before I had kids I was definitely of the mind set that skinny is better, now I think I would change the word skinny to healthy!!

If you managed to read through all my ramblings, what do you think about weight loss, are you on a diet or an exercise plan, do you think about how affects your kids or do they ask questions about what you are doing? As always I appreciate your comments.

xxxx