Friday 10 March 2017

Starting Secondary School

Last week I got the confirmation that my eldest daughter will be attending our local grammar school starting in September. I think back to my children when they started primary schools and I'm trying to remember how I was feeling, even though the process was quite similar it seems as though this next milestone seems harder somehow. 

The transition from primary to secondary school is a big one. Different surroundings, new friends and an even higher focus on learning with more homework. I guess what's even scarier is that it marks the beginning or adolescence and Elise starting at an all girls school I'm already worried about the thought of her perhaps being bullied because we all know girls can be more than bitchy at times.

Secondary means going from being one of the oldest to one of the youngest, stepping back into the unknown territory, having to navigate your way around the school (anyone else remember thinking that secondary school was enormous?) and taking on more responsibility with increased amounts of lessons and homework.

I didn't particularly enjoy my time at secondary school, yes I had friends, no I didn't struggle with learning but I never quite fit in and constantly found myself counting down the days to the next holidays (some things never change) and creating illnesses to get out of lessons, so now as a mum I want to find ways to make sure that my children don't have the same experiences.

Choosing the school was the easy part of this next journey, but now this is the next step on giving my child even more independence, no more standing at the school gates waiting for her, she'll be doing the school run on her own. There will be less contact with other parents and I'm now wondering how involved I'll be as this new phase of her life begins.

When you look up things on line about children starting secondary school articles give out all these tips on how to help your child through this period of time but what about us parents, how do we help ease our nerves and anxieties because surely we can't be much help to our kids if we're too busy worrying ourselves?

What's funny is that I'm the one with the fears, my daughter is quite the opposite, she's excited, eager to start this next phase in her life. I guess when I think about it my concerns are more about me than about her, the fear of no longer being needed, of getting older (both her and me). I think I need to use these next few months to prepare myself for my child becoming even more of her own person.


  1. I think you're right: often our kids are more ready for change than we are! #PoCoLo

  2. It's a big change for everyone. Good luck with adjusting and congratulations on getting the school you hoped for #PoCoLo

  3. You have the advantage/disadvantage of having experienced it, so you know what to expect. Having had two go through it already, I know reality seems to hit home for them around half term of the first term. Enjoy the last few months. It is a huge change, but hopefully the school will be brilliant and ease them in (and you). They love all the new subjects and I know my two made lots of new friends. #PoCoLo

  4. It is such a big change for children and for us as parents.
    I have hardly anything to do with my teens school day now. I attend parents evening and get the odd letter usually asking for money for trips and that's about it.
    It's great your girl is excited and looking forward to starting secondary school. Good luck.

  5. As a secondary school teacher I can adsolutely testify to the huge jump between primary and secondary and the culture shock experienced by almost all students. It's a whole new world with so many new challenged. It's totally normal for you to feel anxious! I can't imagine how I will feel when my time comes. Great that she's so excited though. Bodes well. Good luck to you both in September! #PoCoLo

  6. I'm at the end of my school journey now with my youngest leaving this year, i had no problems going from school into the world of work, the other children followed the same route, this child however is going on to education beyond 6th form and it's a whole new experience for me and i don't now what to expect pocolo

  7. I remember feeling like this 2 years ago as BP started secondary school. He's now in Year8 and loving it. The transition is difficult for us but they seem to glide through it as if it's nothing. I'm here if you need a chat hun. x
    Thanks for linking to #pocolo


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