Friday, 11 January 2019

Time to Juggle

A couple of years ago I wrote a post about the idea that you have to juggle all the things in your life and the struggle to keep that act going. Since then I think I've managed to develop that skill quite well. 

During the past two years I have passed a course to become a teaching assistant, be a midday supervisor every lunch time and continue to volunteer daily at my children's primary school too. But I'll admit it's felt like I haven't had a moment to myself.

Fast forward to now and what can I say ... I'm quite simply tired.

I was lucky enough to gain a full time teaching assistant position in another school, something which I previously spoke about, asking could this be the year for me? However I'll admit that there's been a day or two where I've had a feeling of trying to stay afloat.

Don't get me wrong, I am truly enjoying my job but it's an adjustment going from being a volunteer able to pick and choose my hours to being in full time work, having to be places at certain times and jigging about previous commitments.

I always felt that I was an organised person but now even more so.

My day starts at 5.45am. Strong black coffee is in order as I begin my day. I make prepare the pack lunches, put a load of washing on and on certain days I also make sure I fit in a type of workout too. That may be weights, resistance or HIIT based.

Now this is also where I'm glad that I already meal plan as I can also get dinner started so that's one less job I have to contend with when I get home from work. Hooray for the slow cooker, this is an appliance that gets used a lot!

Something I'm missing is the school run.

Due to my hours, I'm unable to take the kids to school or pick them up. Sounds silly but I'm missing being able to have a chat with other mums at the school gates, catching up, gossiping, keeping up to date with what's going on at school.

This is where I'm lucky though. I've got a brilliant support network of family and friends who have saved me the cost of breakfast and after school clubs as they've all volunteered to take my children to school or pick them up.

Roll on the mum guilt though.

During the day I don't have a chance to think. Work is fast paced (something I love), not one day has been the same yet and in that sense I know I've made the right decision to juggle a bit more in my life, that's when my thinking turns logical and the doubt ebbs away slightly.

And in a blink of an eye it's home time. As soon as I get in the door the chaos starts again. The girls all have a mix of reading, homework and spellings that need my attention, the washing needs sorting and dinner to serve.

Where are the hours going?

When the week is through the weekend is now consumed with running errands, appointments that now need to be made for the weekend as I haven't got the time during or after school, attending kids parties and catching up on housework that I now don't have time to do during the week. 

Now I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. I know there are a lot of people that do far more than me and I am really grateful to have a job, to have the life that I'm living but that doesn't stop the feeling of being overwhelmed sometimes.

The year of me is turning into no time for me.

It's all an adjustment and I know I just need to brush up on my juggling skills. Because at the end of the day this life isn't just for me, it's for the good of my family and that in the end makes it all worth it.

I'm sure it will all become second nature in a few weeks time but for now I'm allowing myself time to have a mini panic, a few moments to silently swear to myself and those extra few glasses of gin to get me through the tougher times.

In the mean time, any tips on just how to juggle that little bit better would be much appreciated.

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