Tuesday 22 October 2019

Life Lately

Do you know what, life has flown by this year.

I can't even remember the last time I came on here simply to write a post of my own instead of reviews. In all honesty I think the last time I put any sort of life update on here was right at the beginning of the year when I started my new job.

Everything has been quite honestly, chaotic.

So where to begin?

Well my husband and I have just reached the milestone of fifteen years together as well as eleven years married to one another. It's hard to believe that I've been with Mr Hazelden for almost half of my life now!


Then there's the kids, they are all growing up (too fast in my opinion.) 

The eldest recently collected an award for academic achievement in her previous year at school, showing that the hard work does actually pay off. It was a real proud mum moment as only eight children out of about one hundred and thirty in her year were chosen for this award.

My second eldest started at our local grammar school alongside her big sister in September and as much as she tells me that school is boring, she is in fact doing very well indeed.

The younger two are just as clever as their older siblings. Excelling according to their recent school reports. I'm so pleased that out of everything in life, my children are not something I need to worry about - well not intentionally anyway.

I've got rather emotional lately as I've realised just how quickly my girls are growing up. I mean I no longer have nativities to attend as they've surpassed that time in their lives. 

My biggest daughter is now in fact taller than me (with my second child not far behind her.)


We're already thinking ahead to next year's secondary school applications for my second youngest and just look how much older my littlest child seems to look these days. I know I'm biased but doesn't this dress from La Coqueta make her look more like a mini adult than a child!


Then there's work.

I knew full time work would be difficult at times but I under-estimated just how hard I would find it. There's no point in lying, I've found it so tough recently that I've found myself feeling quite down at times.

I'm generally a positive person and even when I feel a little low I can usually muster up a smile but I've struggled to even do that lately. 

A mix of mum guilt, you know because of working and not seeing the kids do things at school and at home. Then there's this horrible feeling of not enjoying my job as much as I should be at times, again something I feel guilty about. Add on the overwhelming tasks that seem to pile up because of working, i.e. everything at home and I just feel like I'm barely staying afloat at times.

I find myself snapping at people a lot more than I should, many times I'd even say that it doesn't warrant my reactions, but I just can't seem to react in any other way.

Feeling a bit lost at the moment.

Probably a few reasons why I haven't been updating the blog in recent months.

It all sounds a bit doom and gloom and I guess I want people to leave my blog with a sense of hope rather than a feeling that I can only describe as meh.

Now I am hanging to the hope that there are better days to come. My life is in no way shape or form as bad as it is for many but we all have our own individual problems don't we.

I think what I need is change. 

To put a new and better twist on my current attitude, to discover a bit more happiness for myself and to let go of a smidgen of the guilt that I'm constantly carrying around. Feeling a little better just for having written it all down.

So that's life lately. Thankful for everything I do have and no it's not all sunshine and flowers but that's most people's realities isn't it.

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